diff --git a/internal/browser-slot.sh b/internal/browser-slot.sh
index 217658959..fc0b8a2e1 100755
--- a/internal/browser-slot.sh
+++ b/internal/browser-slot.sh
@@ -23,13 +23,16 @@ set -u
 
 SLOTS="${BROWSER_SLOTS:-2}"
 DIR="${BROWSER_SLOT_DIR:-/tmp}"
-BASE="$DIR/doxa-maps-browser-gate.lock"
+# SLOT_BASE, never BASE: a variable the CALLER exported stays exported in bash, so assigning BASE
+# here rewrote the caller's BASE for every gate this runs. Seven gates read process.env.BASE, and
+# check:upg-map-data-painted measured /tmp/doxa-maps-browser-gate.lock/... and SKIPPED with exit 0.
+SLOT_BASE="$DIR/doxa-maps-browser-gate.lock"
 FLOOR_MB="${BROWSER_MEM_FLOOR_MB:-2500}"
 WAIT_S="${BROWSER_LOCK_WAIT:-900}"
 MEM_WAIT_S="${BROWSER_MEM_WAIT:-300}"
 BUSY=75
 
-slot_path() { [ "$1" = "1" ] && echo "$BASE" || echo "$BASE$1"; }
+slot_path() { [ "$1" = "1" ] && echo "$SLOT_BASE" || echo "$SLOT_BASE$1"; }
 
 mem_available_mb() {
   awk '/^MemAvailable:/ { printf "%d", $2 / 1024 }' /proc/meminfo 2>/dev/null || echo 999999
@@ -58,10 +61,22 @@ while [ "$i" -le "$SLOTS" ]; do
   i=$((i + 1))
 done
 
-# Everything busy: queue on slot 1, and report a timeout as UNMEASURED rather than as a verdict.
-exec 9>"$(slot_path 1)"
-if flock -w "$WAIT_S" 9; then
-  exec "$@"
-fi
+# Everything busy: keep POLLING EVERY SLOT until the deadline, and report a timeout as UNMEASURED
+# rather than as a verdict. This used to queue on slot 1 alone (flock -w on slot 1), so a slot that
+# freed up was never taken: measured 2026-09-25 (dx-shepherd), ten waiters were piled on slot 1 while
+# slot 2 sat free, and with slot 1 held 12 s and slot 2 freed at ~3 s a caller waited 11.5 s — the
+# two-slot semaphore had collapsed into ONE queue. Polling takes the first slot that frees (~4 s in
+# the same test). Trade-off, accepted: polling is not first-come-first-served, so under heavy
+# contention a waiter can lose a few rounds; an idle slot beside a queue is strictly worse.
+deadline=$(( $(date +%s) + WAIT_S ))
+while [ "$(date +%s)" -lt "$deadline" ]; do
+  i=1
+  while [ "$i" -le "$SLOTS" ]; do
+    exec 9>"$(slot_path "$i")" 2>/dev/null || true
+    if flock -n 9; then exec "$@"; fi
+    i=$((i + 1))
+  done
+  sleep 2
+done
 echo "browser-slot: no slot within ${WAIT_S}s (${SLOTS} slots, floor ${FLOOR_MB}MB) — not measuring" >&2
 exit "$BUSY"
diff --git a/internal/check-upg-map-data-painted.mjs b/internal/check-upg-map-data-painted.mjs
index a10ced5f6..325b4273d 100644
--- a/internal/check-upg-map-data-painted.mjs
+++ b/internal/check-upg-map-data-painted.mjs
@@ -58,9 +58,12 @@ const MIN_ZONE_RATIO = 0.9
 let reachable = false
 try { const r = await fetch(urls[0], { signal: AbortSignal.timeout(5000) }); reachable = r.ok } catch { /* precondition */ }
 if (!reachable) {
-  console.log(`UPG-MAP-DATA: SKIP — nothing served at ${urls[0]}.`)
-  console.log('  Serve the built tree: python3 -m http.server 4173 --directory public (or set BASE)')
-  process.exit(0)
+  // NOT MEASURED, exit 75 — never exit 0. Through browser-slot.sh this line once read
+  // "SKIP — nothing served at /tmp/doxa-maps-browser-gate.lock/…" (the slot had overwritten BASE)
+  // and EXITED 0, so a wave counted a gate that measured nothing as green.
+  console.log(`UPG-MAP-DATA: NOT MEASURED — nothing served at ${urls[0]}.`)
+  console.log('  Serve THIS checkout (internal/serve-strict.mjs on your own port) and pass BASE=http://127.0.0.1:<port>/doxa-maps')
+  process.exit(75)
 }
 
 // ★ "ANSWERS 200" AND "IS SERVING THIS BUILD" ARE DIFFERENT QUESTIONS. This gate reads the counter
@@ -70,15 +73,16 @@ if (!reachable) {
 // See _serves-this-tree.mjs (bundler-2, BUG-BROWSER-GATES-CAN-MEASURE-ANOTHER-WORKTREES-TREE):
 // :4173 on this box was once held by a different worktree and a gate reported three confident runs
 // about code nobody had changed.
-// ⚠ NOT MEASURED rather than SKIP, exit 2: "nothing to check here" and "I cannot attribute what I
-// saw" are different facts, and only the second one should stop you trusting the numbers.
+// ⚠ NOT MEASURED, exit 75 — the repo's EX_TEMPFAIL for "not measured" (a9550858), which the wave
+// runner reports as ⊘. It was exit 2 here, a code nothing else in the repo reads that way.
+// This check is also what makes the :4173 default safe: another agent's tree there is refused.
 const TREE_BASE = String(urls[0]).split('/doxa-maps/')[0]
 const treeCheck = await servesThisTree(TREE_BASE, ROOT)
 if (!treeCheck.ok) {
   console.error('UPG-MAP-DATA: NOT MEASURED — the server is not serving this checkout.')
   console.error(`  ${treeCheck.why}`)
   console.error('  The polygon and pin counts below would describe someone else\'s build.')
-  process.exit(2)
+  process.exit(75)
 }
 
 const WALK = `(root) => { const o = []; const rec = (r) => { for (const e of r.querySelectorAll('*')) { o.push(e); if (e.shadowRoot) rec(e.shadowRoot) } }; rec(root); return o }`